You can't chain a squid to a fencepost

The obvious thing about most squid is that they are sea bound, and therefore cannot exist outside a saline and watery environment, and since there are very few fenceposts in the ocean, the chances of finding one near a squid is just about impossible. If you are that lucky sea voyager who has 1) found a sea-fencepost 2) a nearby squid, and 3) have the will to corral this squid and chain it to the post, you will most likely encounter the biggest problem of all: squid are not rigid animals. There is a strong chance that this squid will resist being chained, and if it does then you'll have no choice but to punch it repeatedly, aiming for the eyes if possible. Once your squid is subdued then you can dress it in pajamas and make it wear a Richard Nixon mask. This will undoubtedly humiliate the squid and will subdue it even further by breaking its spirit. At this point you might think it can be chained to a fencepost, but you'd be wrong because in your battle with the squid the fencepost has likely become damaged to the point that it could not anchor even a weak sea anemone, let alone a bona fide squid, broken spirit or not. This is usually when most sea voyagers will ask themselves three important questions: What the hell am I doing under the sea? Why have I deliberately injured a squid? And most importantly, why did I want to chain a squid to a fencepost in the first place? The answers to these questions are complex, so complex in fact, that it’s probably best not to think about it too much and continue hunting for squid to chain to fenceposts.